September 5, 2020
Good relationships are the foundation for success in all areas of your life. This begins with your relationship with yourself. If you do not love yourself entirely and actively ensure your own needs are met, you will find it difficult to do the same for others. Know this: however you treat yourself is how you will treat others. This is why, ironically, the most selfless thing you can do is to be self-centered (albiet not selfish). Once you love and accept all aspects of yourself completely and treat yourself that way, once you become grounded and centered in your being, serving and empowering others will come naturally. Imagining and looking back it yourself from the end of your life, ask yourself right now, “How well did I love myself? Was I my own best friend? Was I completely honest with myself?” You see, it is easy — without realizing it — to neglect the one person in your life who is your partner in everything that you do and are: you . Practicing self love not only involves making sure your needs are met; it also means not subjecting yourself to environments, perspectives, relationships, and other commitments that disempower you. Don’t worry so much about being rude. It is more detrimental to both yourself and the other person to keep commitments that you are unable to uphold, then it is to cut the tie and be free, if you feel you’re being anchored down. Ask yourself: “What kinds of people did I surround myself with? Who supported me in fulfilling my destiny, and how did I support others in realizing theirs?” In life, you can either unconditionally accept the relationships that are handed to you, or you can create connections that you find mutually fulfilling. Ask yourself: “If I could do it over again, what values what I look for in a friend, life partner, mentor, and business partner? What kind of brother, sister, son, husband, wife, father, mother, friend, teacher, and student what I have been?” Which relationships suit you best? Are you a man or woman who enjoys acommitted relationship, or do you prefer to “play the field”? Do you want to get married, have kids, and start a family? Or would you rather become a monk? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. If we are not deliberate about answering, we tend to repeat the relationship-based habits that we have inherited subconsciously from our parents. For instance, our parents were a certain way with us, and so, if we are blind to it, we will treat our own children that way. Your mother was a certain way with your father, and so you will be that way with your spouse, if you don’t shed conscious light on it. But those of us who create visions for our life can avoid that trap by deciding specifically the type of relationships we would like to foster: romantically, familially, with friends, with teachers, and of course, with yourself. Based on your answers to these questions, you can design your perfect day, this time focusing on your relationships. For instance, set aside certain times of the day for yourself, for spending time with your family as well as your friends. Your relationship with yourself is the first and foremost most important thing that you could cultivate if you want to improve your outside relationships in general. It is the foundation of your character and how you interact with the world.